


You'll Come Back, Right?

by crazychloe08



Series: there's snakes in the garden [1]
Category: 17th Century CE RPF, 18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF, Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: American Revolution, Angst, Greek Mythology References, Halemadge, M/M, Minor Nathan Hale/Benjamin Tallmadge, Sexual Tension, Teacher Benjamin Tallmadge, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Turn: Washington’s spies has consumed my life, lots of foreshadowing, projecting on dead revoluationaries, there will be a lot of allusions to this fic in my next series, this fic sets me up for my next loooong fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29681166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazychloe08/pseuds/crazychloe08
Summary: "Tallmadge hesitated, watching his friend, determination and exasperation written all over his features, brows pinches and lips pursed. Nathan was anything short of beaut-No, no, no, no, no. Not now."Nathan Hale is about to join the Continental Army and Benjamin Tallmadge spends one last reckless, drunk night with his best friend.This is a prequel to my ambitious fic "And We Could Be Enough"
Relationships: Nathan Hale (1755-1776)/Benjamin Tallmadge
Series: there's snakes in the garden [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181075
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	You'll Come Back, Right?

_ New London, Connecticut _

_ July, 1775  _

Benjamin Tallmadge was unsure of many things, but as he dismounted his horse and a cool summer’s breeze passed through his hair, he absent mindedly adjusted his cravat, a nervous habit he developed during the long, stifling hours of studying in the library. 

It would be fine. 

It had only been two years, and absence makes the heart grow fonder, they said. 

Why was he nervous? This was his best friend.

His best  _ friend _ . 

Before he could doubt himself any longer, the door to the small house swung open, revealing a man with sandy blonde hair and deep blue eyes, sparkling with happiness. 

Something in the back of Tallmadge’s mind told him to chide him, for he raced out of the house, stripped down to waistcoat and breeches, but as he rushed toward Tallmadge, the only clear thought he could think was,  _ Nathan Hale is in front of me. _

“Ben!” Nathan called breathlessly, colliding with Tallmadge, throwing his arms around him. Tallmadge leaned into his warmth, not hesitating to wrap his arms around Nathan, and nestle his face into his neck. 

As he remembered, Nathan smelled like warm rain and old parchment. 

“Hello Nathan” Tallmadge murmured into Nathan’s hair, a boyish grin breaking over his cheeks, any worries melting away as he felt Nathan’s twin smile burst over his features. 

“What are you doing here Damon?!” Nathan asked, pulling away his eyes radiating pure happiness. 

“Giving you a proper send-off before you join the Continentals, Pythias” he slipped back into the old nickname easily making Nathan’s impossibly big grin stretch further.

He forgot how much Nathan’s energy-fueled him.

Tallmadge paused and then in a quieter voice said 

“I had to see you, one last time before you went” Nathan’s smile softened as he threw an arm around Tallmadge guiding him toward the small cabin.

“You didn’t come all this way to stand outside, come on” Tallmadge followed Nathan into his home.

It was only two stories, and only big enough to fit the essentials: A fireplace for cooking, a table for eating, and presumably upstairs, a bed for sleeping. 

“A luxurious home for a teacher, eh?” Nathan shut the door behind them as Tallmadge took in the space. 

Oh, how Tallmadge had missed Nathan’s dry quips, even if they were at his own expense. 

“Are you going to sell it?” he asked, removing a pile of books to sit at the table. 

“Nah, after the war I’m coming back here, so might as well have a place to stay” Tallmadge bit his lip as Nathan rummaged through a rickety cabinet, muttering something about drinks. 

“How’s superintendent life treating you, Damon? It must be pretty important to pry you away from your work and across Connecticut” After college, they had both secured teaching jobs, and both accepted the posts in Connecticut, promising each other to never live too far away for visits. 

Over the past two years, they hadn’t visited each other, not once. 

“My Pythias is going away to war and fight for our freedom, the only thing I’m missing is paperwork” Tallmadge snorted as Nathan poured drinks into some musty glasses. 

“To freedom for the Americas” Nathan toasted as they threw back their drinks, letting the alcohol burn down their throats. 

Tallmadge didn’t have taste for drinking, but with Nathan, it made him feel alive.

\--------

“To friendship! To freedom! To Pythias and Damon!” Tallmadge shouted, downing his drink again. Empty bottles littered the table, Tallmadge losing count of the number of drinks they had consumed. 

It didn’t matter. 

Tallmadge would let himself drown in alcohol tonight. Possibly the last night he would ever get to do this with Nathan. 

Nathan’s laughter was contagious and his energy fueled Tallmadge. 

Were they in Nathan’s small house in Connecticut? Or were they in college? Just two souls, akin to one another, drawn in and incessantly drinking. 

“To battlefield glory!” Nathan toasted, throwing back his head to down another round. Tallmadge hesitated this time, taking a cautious, but generous sip. 

“You will come back, right?” He quietly asked, making Nathan turn his head ever so slightly, catching a glimpse of Tallmadge’s drawn-up face, so different from the boisterous tone he conveyed moments before. 

“You’ll come back to me, won’t you Pythias?” Nathan paused, turned fully to Tallmadge now, his eyes clear as crystals, beautiful and alluring, yet sharp and lined with venom. 

“You won’t attempt to steal some battlefield glory and leave me alone in this realm? Will you?” the drink makes Tallmadge more impatient as his tone grows stronger and more persistent. 

“Every man should have the honor to die for their country, for their freedom Damon. You of all people know that” Nathan replies, matching Tallmadge’s tone, challenging him.

“Any  _ honorable _ man would give himself to the cause, but” Tallmadge stops and swallows his words, afraid of what he may reveal. 

“But what, Ben? Am I an exception? Are you that selfish to let every other man lay down their lives, and with my chance to serve and bring freedom, you tuck me away like a child in need of protecting?” Nathan contradicts, his volume increasing. 

Tallmadge restrained himself from wincing at his Christian name. Nathan never used his first name. He was always addressed as “Damon” or “My dear Tallmadge”. 

“Yes!” Tallmadge hisses, cutting Nathan off. 

“Yes! I am selfish! I cannot lose you! Your recklessness and thirst for justice clouds your temperament as you jump at any chance to eagerly throw yourself into action!” He hisses, frustration biting his words making Nathan drawback for a second.

But only a second, for they do not hold anything back. 

“I made my decisions with-” Tallmadge cuts him off

“Oh yes, always the perfect Nathan Hale. Perfect Christian, perfect student, perfect friend, perfect athlete. Gentle Nathan, kind Natha, generous Nathan, smart Nathan! They do not know you as I do! You do not know yourself as I do!” Tallmadge jests cruelly, his voice low and mocking. 

“Enlighten me then all-wise Tallmadge! Tell me what I do not know!” Nathan sat back, crossing his arms, cheeks flushed from the alcohol and small strands of light hair falling loose from his plait, framing his pink face. 

Tallmadge hesitated, watching his friend, determination and exasperation written all over his features, brows pinches and lips pursed. 

Nathan was anything short of beaut-

No, no, no, no, no. Not now. 

“I have lost so much and it is only the dawn of this war! My hometown is controlled by the British, my brother, Samuel, has been captured and in Jersey, and most likely dead! My childhood best friend is a minute man, and I have no way of contacting him, and I have no ways of ensuring my family and younger brothers safe or alive! So forgive me for  _ caring _ , God forbid I lose my best friend!” Tallmadge caught his breath, fighting back a wince as his voice broke yelling  _ best friend.  _

“Why!?” Nathan roared with as much fire as Tallmadge. 

“Why do you care for me so much! What did I ever do for you!” Tallmadge knew that at this point Nathan was indulging himself and him. They both knew how sacred their friendship meant, but Tallmadge knew that Nathan would never back down from a fight, a challenge. 

Nathan was as stubborn as he. 

Oh what a match they made. 

“Because I love you, you fool!” Tallmadge blurted over Nathan. It might have been the extensive intake of alcohol. It might have been the heat of the moment, the thoughts and feelings swirling around Tallmadge like a hurricane. 

If that was the hurricane, then this must be the eye. 

He didn’t mean to say it. It just… came out. 

Tallmadge had never meant to say it, it scared him, honestly. It began that day after Nathan had taken a terrible beating, trying to defend Tallmadge. 

_ I will always fight for you Damon, _ ” Nathan had said in a haze, blood oozing out of his mouth, hair askew, and face purple. 

Yet, in that moment something inside of Tallmadge screamed. 

_ I love you! _

And not the love that brothers share, but the condemned love that was a crime. A love that hung. 

So Tallmadge suppressed it. It was easy, falling back into their similar patterns, but sometimes, a little voice would whisper something unholy in his ear, making him wince, but his heart always beat a little faster. 

They were like brothers. 

No more. No less. 

And now Tallmadge was frozen. He felt ice in his veins as he watched Nathan’s crystal eyes go wide, and cheeks deepen in color. 

He stammered, opening his mouth and closing it. 

Tallmadge squeezed his eyes shut, waiting to be condemned, to be yelled at, questioned. 

“ _ Christ! _ Say, something man!” And then in a blur, Nathan launched himself at Tallmadge. 

Tallmadge expected a beating, maybe a few good hits, or even just a forceful shove. 

He flinched, but instead of a fist, he received Nathan’s lips. 

In his shock, he forgot to reciprocate and after a moment Nathan drew back, breathless and beautiful, shadows dancing across his face.

“Did-Did I read this wrong?” Nathan whispered. Tallmadge let out a breath

“God, no” he answered just as breathy and tilted his head up, crashing his lips upon Nathan. 

They moved in tandem, grappling at each other’s clothes, hair, faces, gasping into each other’s mouths and letting out small whimpers. 

They fit perfectly together as they had always belonged. 

Stars burst behind Tallmadge’s eyes as he was pushed against the wall. They broke apart, connecting sweaty foreheads together, breath mingling. 

Nathan’s pupils were dilated, eyes blown with lust. Tallmadge reached up and cupped his face, letting his thumb trail under his eyes. 

“There’s that sparkle” he murmured. Nathan grinned and dipped down to kiss Tallmadge again, yet it was less desperate. The passion was still there, just not as fiery. The kiss was sweet and open-mouthed and full of reassurance. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, you don’t even know,” Nathan lowly said earning a soft scoff from Tallmadge. 

“So have I” A pause

“Does that mean we are now Achilles and Patroclus?” Tallmadge laughed into Nathan’s mouth. 

“I should not think so, dear Pythias, for I shall sacrifice everything for you” Tallmadge didn’t think it possible, but Nathan’s eyes actually grew bigger and seemed to actually sparkle as he attached his lips to Tallmadge’s once more. 

For the rest of the night they soft kisses and deft touches, eventually falling asleep in Nathan’s worn bed, exhaustion catching up to them. 

As Tallmadge lay curled up in Nathan’s warmth, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his dexterous fingers slowly stroking his hair. He looked over as the sun began to rise, past the floor with their discarded waistcoats, past the outside of the home, and out into the distance. 

Tallmadge was unsure of many things, but at this moment, he knew, in Nathan’s arms, this is where he belonged. 

And that was enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! I hoped you enjoy this nonsensical one shot! 
> 
> I'm actually in the process of writing a caleb brewster/ben tallmadge fic, following them from beginning of the war to season four finale of turn, so this fic will help you understand some background stuff. If it seemed rushed at the end, just know that I'm working on several things at once and now reading it over, I can see how rushy it is...sorry ;D
> 
> UPDATE: I just posted the first chapter of my tallster fic "And We Could Be Enough" go check it out1
> 
> aND for all you Halemadge shippers, I gift this to you because ya'll are dedicated. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr! Check out my profile @crazychloe08


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